About Suicide
The Lifelink Samaritans are continuously active in the area of
suicide awareness and suicide prevention, particularly in regard
to our young people.
Suicide statistics, exceeding the number of deaths on the road,
are a tragic reflection on our society and demand the involvement
and vigilance of everyone in the community.
Whilst the highest incidence of suicide occurs in the middle aged
to the elderly, the occurrence of this tragic event in the young
merits an even greater awareness of the risk factors by all with
whom they come into contact.
To this end, the Lifelink Samaritans has produced a separate webpage
entitled "Youth Suicide - Guidelines for Parents" and a Youth Card
that provides young people with telephone contacts that will
listen and help them.
As part of a pro-active role in suicide awareness and prevention,
the Lifelink Samaritans has provided, and continues to provide,
suicide awareness seminars and training to numerous community
organisations such as service clubs, parents & friends, church
groups, community health groups and government agencies.
Such training is also offered to rural areas.
 The organisation is always pleased to receive requests to talk to
any community groups on this topic.
To keep abreast of the latest trends and techniques in suicide
prevention, the Lifelink Samaritans is an active member of
Suicide Prevention Australia (SPA) and attends their annual
conference. The 1999 and 2000 conferences highlighted the
increasing number of suicide projects being undertaken in the
mainland States using the resources of the National Youth
Suicide Prevention Strategy.
MYTHS AND FACTS ABOUT SUICIDE
MYTH: People who talk about suicide rarely kill themselves.
FACT: People who kill themselves usually give some clue or warning - TAKE THREATS SERIOUSLY.
MYTH: When people talk about suicide you should change the subject.
FACT: Take them seriously, give them the opportunity to express themselves and listen with care.
MYTH: People who kill themselves really want to die.
FACT: Suicidal people are confused and ambivalent. Suicide is a CRY FOR HELP that often ends in tragedy. It may not be so much wanting to die, but to stop the emotional pain.
MYTH: A person who takes their life is mentally ill or depressed.
FACT: Not all people who have suicidal feelings are depressed or mentally ill, they may show a variety of symptoms of anxiety, agitation, depression, stress, and wanting to excape their present situation.
DEPRESSION AND SUICIDE
Causes
Adolescence is a time of extraordinary change, filled with stress for youth and their families. As young people grow into adults, they meet opportunities and obligations to change from their childhood selves. They look for and find a loosening of childhood ties to their parents, and a new sense of independence and individuality. They begin to discover their sexuality. New experiences lead them from the security and habit of old ones and their often combined effect can cause an emotional upheaval frustrating for both the adolescents and those around them. Impulsive behaviour may arise as the young person seeks to resolve conflicting demands.
Loss of past securities and uncertainty of the future brings periods of self-doubt and feelings of inferiority, isolation, and expendability. Temporary depression is normal to young people, as it is to people of all ages, but they have less experience with suffering than older people. New overwhelming feelings may be sufficiently threatening to require dramatic ways of asserting control.
Normal adolescent conflict, loss and depression, impulsiveness and the taking of risks, a desperate need to maintain control; these on top of individual school, family or social differences can put a young person seriously at risk of self-harm.
Many suicidal youths experience family troubles which lead them to doubt their self-worth or make them feel unwanted, superfluous, misunderstood, and unloved. Many come from families who use guilt or shame as a means of controlling behaviour. Too often parents and other adults criticize the child rather than the behaviour.
Loss of love contributes to the risk of suicide. The loss may be from death or divorce, or emotional withdrawal of a parent or loved one. A study of the families of suicidal youths indicates that alcohol and depression are also major factors.
For the child in pain, drugs and alcohol may be a way to numb feelings of rejection and despair. Since alcohol is a depressant and both drugs and alcohol can become addictions, the pain doesn't really go away, and it may get worse.
For the parents of a young person, it is important to discern the differences between normal and abnormal behaviour. The following behaviours are very common among today's youth, and you may associate them with your son or daughter.
• is not very communicative
• does not want to share information about daily activities
• is secretive
• is angry when you ask questions
• spends time alone with the door closed, listening to music or on the telephone
• argues about limits which you set, such as staying out late or using the car
• resents your disapproval of some of his or her friends
• seems to be confused about goals for the future
• gives the impression of feeling "completely misunderstood"
• resents questions about sexual activities
While these normal behaviour patterns can create difficulties between you, they are typical of what it means to be an adolescent. It is part of the growing process for young people to reject their parents' values and struggle to find their own; and most often the "new values" are ultimately aligned with those rejected. However, you may notice some of these more serious behaviour patterns -
• great change in eating or sleeping habits
• sudden loss of interest in prized possessions
• dramatic change in school performance
• hyperactivity
• being accident prone
• physical complaints
• aggressiveness
• withdrawal
• overwhelming guilt or self-hate
• alcohol or drug abuse
• deep or prolonged grief over any loss - a death, a parting,
break up of a relationship
These signs of depressions do not invariably mean that young people are contemplating suicide, but they should alert you to the fact that your child may be experiencing more than normal adolescent difficulties, and may be in a depression and need your help. Don't be afraid to look for the truth. Too often the parents of a young suicide are heard to say "We didn't know."
Veiled Clues or Hints
Some people will talk about suicide or dying while others will put out clues or hints eg "I won't be a problem any more" or "nothing matters any more" or "you'll be sorry when I'm ..." Be ready to recognise these and respond openly.
Blocks
Blocks are the inhibitors that prevent us from opening up - things such as fear and shame.
FEAR of - retribution, being judged, humiliated, loss of self control, loss of choices, losing face, upsetting or worrying the family. Fear of having intimate personal details used against you later eg in an argument etc.
SHAME - shame and embarrassment are often blocks that will prevent depressed or suicidal people from reaching out for help. We all have our pride. Reassurance that they will not be judged or blamed may assist.
Confiding in someone outside the family circle may also be appropriate.
A telephone befriending service, such as that provided by the Lifelink Samaritans, can assist because of its anonymity and confidentiality.
Self Destructive Behaviour
The confusion, pain and powerlessness adolescents feel can lead young people to hurt themselves and others. Research indicates that around 10% of adolescents attempt suicide and a great many more consider it as an option to alleviate their perceived problems. Suicide is a leading cause of death among our young people and Australia has one of the highest teenage suicide rates in the world.
Suicide attempts are often ways of gaining power, seeking attention or manipulating others. An attempt is always serious in that it increases the likelihood of a completed suicide and indicates a level of despair and difficulty in getting much needed attention. Caring and loving attention should focus not only on the suicide attempt but also on the feelings and life of the person. Remember - most suicides are preventable!
Skills And Abilities That Minimise Suicide Risk
• ability to communicate - to be clear and direct about what he or she wants and needs
• ability to relate on a constructive and intimate level - can share feelings, thoughts, visions, dreams with someone who respects them
• ability to accept their own mistakes and imperfections
• ability to make choices and face the consequences
• self assertion skills - as distinct from aggression
• ability to negotiate - stick up for self and hear others
• ability to see a number of options
• self power - can get own needs met
• self knowledge - knowing about their inner self and being in touch with all their feelings
• ability to see their positive attributes and accept compliments
• self esteem - can and do feel good about themselves
• optimism - hope for a positive future
Resources That Make Teenagers Safer
• family - home as a safe, supportive, and loving environment
• school/work as a stable place
• warm respectful relationships
• outside interests - of personal choice
• future optimism
• balance of physical, emotional and learning activities
• not using chemicals to block feelings or reality
• ability to socialise
• eating well, sleeping regularly at night
• planning for the future
• having interests, hobbies, memberships etc
• making friends
• talking about feelings
WHAT CAN BE DONE?
Parents of depressed or suicidal young people often ask what can they do to help.
The important thing is to pay attention.
Encourage them to talk.
LISTEN - be on their side - keep lines of communication open.
Tell them that you love them and that you care (and mean it!).
Don't be judgmental - don't put them down.
Don't interrupt - give them time to finish - even if you don't agree.
Encourage their emotions - it's OK if they cry or feel angry.
Don't give advice - explore options with them when they have finished expressing their feelings - try to get THEM to think of options.
Give them time and space to talk - don't rush.
Ask open ended questions (and remember this is not a good time to shame, punish or come down heavy) for example -
• can you tell me what's happening?
• what is playing on your mind?
• what needs to change for you to make you want to live? (they may need some encouragement that you are not going to shout or punish them - now is not the time for any hint of punishment)
• how long have you been feeling like this - has anything happened to upset or scare you?
What Can Be Done contd . .
Don't panic. Remember that no one is suicidal all the time. Thoughts of self-destruction arise at times of crisis, but lives can be saved with understanding and support.
If you think there is immediate danger, DO NOT LEAVE THE PERSON ALONE. Stay with him or her until the crisis passes, or until help arrives.
If the person is hallucinating, affected by drugs or alcohol, or if an attempt has begun or is imminent, do not try to go it alone. Stay with the person, and contact any of the following -
• ambulance
• emergency section of a local hospital
• the Lifelink Samaritans
• the police
It is possible to talk a person down from a crisis, or rather, to let them talk themselves through the crisis. There is almost always ambivalence - partly wanting to die, partly wanting to live; not wanting to die but wanting to stop the pain.
It is important to understand that the greatest risk of suicide occurs when the person seems to be recovering. It is at this time that they could have enough energy to kill themselves.
After the immediate crisis has been taken care of, consider getting professional help for them and yourself, perhaps for the entire family. When you are close to a situation it is hard to see the dimensions of it objectively and clearly. As a parent you are essential in helping your child through the crisis, but trying to do it alone can be too stressful and possibly counter-productive.
IN SUMMARY, SHORT TERM ACTION INCLUDES -
• be sensitive to teenagers' life experiences and notice warning signs of possible suicide
• ask a teenager if he or she is contemplating suicide
• determine the severity of the problem
• offer support, love and compassion
• be a good listener
• if possible, remove the reason for suicide
• show no anger, resentment, hurt or outrage
• seek professional help
The Lifelink Samaritans are always available to help both you and the person in danger on (03) 6331 3355 (Launceston) or 1300 364 566 (country & statewide). Encourage the person at risk to call us and please contact us yourself at any time for support in your efforts or to discuss a referral, if necessary. Our service is free and completely confidential.
IMMEDIATE DANGER SIGNS
The person -
• has set the time of suicide and has the means available to carry out the threat
• is dazed or unconscious
• has already hurt themself
IN AN EMERGENCY
• DO NOT LEAVE THE PERSON ALONE
• Contact any of the following immediately (night or day):
- THE LIFELINK SAMARITANS 24 hours a day, every day
(03) 6331 3355 (Launceston) 1300 364 566 (country & statewide)
- LAUNCESTON GENERAL HOSPITAL (03) 6348 7111
- YOUR NEAREST HOSPITAL
- THE POLICE (03) 6336 3701
- SOMEONE YOU TRUST
WEBSITE RESOURCES:
Reach Out!
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‘Asking for help is a sign of courage not weakness’